BALANCING ACT

I was one of those kids who knew exactly what she wanted to be when she grew up:  a wife and mother.  I had no specific career goals as a child, an adolescent, or as a young adult.  A job, to me, was something you did “in the meantime.”  A job, to me, was a job, not a career.  I realize now, more than ever, that I always had a proclivity towards the life of an artist, but I didn’t really know that.  One look at my high school class schedule would confirm that statement.  Outside of the basic required courses I needed to graduate, I spent most of my school time in the following classes:  Various Home Economics classes, including cooking, meal planning, how to shop for food, baking, sewing (I took every sewing class up to the most difficult, and made my own patterns and suit jackets – red velvet in those days – yikes!)  These were not worn for business, but fashion. I also took Interior design, stitchery, drawing and painting, weaving, choir, modern dance, and every other art class that didn’t include reading, writing, or arithmetic.  I became known as the local folk music singer and played guitar, piano and sang in churches and civic organizations around town.  I had no interest in history, American Government, or literature classes, although I did take these as required.  I barely survived math. When I graduated from high school, I was the happiest person on earth, because I didn’t have to go to school anymore.  I could spend all my days at the beach, and my nights disco dancing at the nightclubs in Orange County, California.  I took jazz, ballet, modern dance, and ballroom dancing classes.  I was doing what I wanted to do: nothing!  The song “Girls Just Wanna Have fun” encapsulated my chosen lifestyle in the mid-1970’s.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I didn’t get married as soon as I thought I would (that is, right out of high school) and this necessitated me getting work.  My first real job was working at a factory in my hometown, making airplane parts I can’t describe.  They didn’t look like anything to me, and, the working conditions were atrocious!  It was often 125 or 130 degrees in that factory on hot summer days.  I did this for the first two years after high school.  One thing I liked about it was that I could change my shifts from day to nights in the summer, and thereby spend my days at the beach before going to work.  It didn’t take me long, however, to figure out how much that kind of work really sucked, and I started taking classes at the local community college when I wasn’t working.  This is where I finally learned to type, use a 10-key calculator by touch, and operate a PBX phone system.  I became extra proficient at a skill which rapidly became outdated:  Gregg Shorthand.  As soon as I learned it, technology evolved, and people started using Dictaphones.  In any event, I finally became proficient at using the various office technology, and by the time I was 21 years old, I took an office job that stuck:  I worked in the Claims Department at Allstate Insurance.  I ended up working there for almost 6 years, and then I worked for Travelers and CNA Insurance as well.

Please bear in mind that I didn’t do any of this stuff because I really wanted to.  I had friends who had great career plans in their heads before they even graduated from high school.  They wanted to be physical therapists, counselors, nurses, bookkeepers, or legal secretaries.  I detested typing class in high school because I didn’t think I would ever need such a skill.  HA!  Now everyone needs to know how to type regardless of their career choices, or lack thereof.  I’m glad I finally learned it, and became very proficient, but what I didn’t seem to know was that I could be whatever I wanted.  My parents, and society in general, steered me towards a very traditional life. Being a wife and mother was a traditional, and well-respected career choice in those days.  Yes, I always had an interest in music, photography, and various arts and crafts, but it never occurred to me that I could be an artist as a career. 

In the intervening years, I’ve changed a lot.  By the time I was in my middle thirties, I was a single mom working in The Benefits Department of a large restaurant company in Denver.  After doing this for several years, it occurred to me that I could get a college degree and build an actual career.  I did this once my children were old enough.  In fact, my oldest daughter and I attended the local community college at the same time for a while.  But for a very long time, I had no interest at all in general education.  In fact, I took two years of photography classes at the local community college but didn’t get a certificate or a degree.  Once my mind was made up to return to school for a degree though, I threw my whole heart and soul into it, and I loved it.  I was ready by then, but I was already in my early 40’s.

I guess what I’m saying here is that not every person knows what they want to be when they grow up until they get to that stage of life.  Far too many of us make decisions about our lives far too young.  In some ways I’m jealous of my friends who knew what they wanted to do early on, but then I also wonder if they changed their minds after a decade or so and became something else.  People often change careers halfway through their working careers.  I’ve heard stories of people who graduated from law school and then after a year of practicing law, decided they hated it and did something else.  Just because you decide what you think you want to do when you’re a teenager, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily going to do that as you go through your life.  It’s OK to change and do something different.

Lately I’ve found myself reading books about career and life choices.  One I recently read was loaned to me by a friend.  The book suggests that some people simply cannot commit to one thing and do that one thing their whole life through.  Some people do it and are rewarded with a gold watch and a healthy retirement plan after 35 or 40 years.  Some of us are not nearly that stable throughout our adult lives and we have wanderlust, or lots of different interests that call to us.  I would say I fall into that category.  I’ve believed for a long time that people can do more than one thing at a time.  They can run more than one business or have more than one type of vocation or avocation and they can do these things simultaneously.  Some people are better jugglers than others are for sure, but it can be done.  One of the suggestions made in the book I read that I think is helpful in this regard, is to limit yourself to no more than four things at a time.  For me, I think limiting myself to no more than three things at a time makes more sense, four things get a little tough to juggle. 

I’ve also found that having one thing that you do that is the most likely to provide income provides a great way to hang the remainder of your interests around that, and all these activities build on each other.  For instance, if you have a very practical business, such as contracting of some kind, or lawn and home maintenance, you can build a music business around that and some of your same clients who use you for their home maintenance, will also go to your gigs and buy your CD’s and take your classes. This is also true of other types of businesses, like you could be a realtor, and you could also be a painter.  Or, you could operate a home-based travel agency, and also be a photographer. The options are endless, and doing this keeps you from burning out on only one thing. I like the idea of balancing my interest in business with my interest in art and music.  (Not that art and music can’t also be a business) but I think of this as balancing hard skills and soft skills. 

It is indeed a balancing act, but it keeps life interesting.